So last week in my particular internet world this article kept popping up everywhere. So I read it, and then because Jimmy was snuggled up so sweet and sleepy on my lap, I clicked around her blog for a bit and read this article about dressing nicely even when you're at home.
She makes two points actually, and the second one, about not looking like death when you're out and about, I get that. It's the other one, about how not looking niceish at home isn't good, that I keep rolling around in my mind like an everlasting gobstopper.
The first thing I do when I get home is change into my comfy clothes. Sweats, t-shirt, bandana. I even take off my rings. First first first. Partly because I don't like to have to wash my work clothes and the kiddos, you know, they're messy, and partly because it's SO NICE, and partly because it's my home uniform. So. Does this really indicate to my family somehow that they're not important? I think they're nice sweatpants. They don't have holes in them or anything...
Or it could be that I'm just getting hung up on the idea of putting on a bracelet because I can't stand wearing bracelets.
I think I've decided that I get her point, but it doesn't apply to me. Which is one of those conclusions that always seems a bit dangerous, somehow.
What do you think?
6 comments:
I read her blog regularly. When I read that article originally I thought a lot about what she was saying. I think that often moms that stay at home play the martyr card. As in, I'm so busy taking care of these little ones and everything that I Never have a minute to myself and thus can't even get a comb through my hair or throw on a little lip gloss. Or they somehow think that it doesn't matter how they look or dress since they're always home and only around their kids and husbands. I think that getting yourself at least dressed and clean does wonders for ones spirit. It also says that we care about ourselves to not let a slovenly self be all we offer to those we love.
But, I think that her perspective is different from yours. She is home all day with her kids, leaving only for certain extra curricular activities. It's not like you never get yourself dressed up and looking nice. If I were you, I would do the same thing, shedding the dressy for comfortable as soon as possible.
I enjoy her blog but definitely don't agree with everything she posts.
I'm with you, Betsy; I think I read that article last week, and it keeps popping up into my brain at odd times. It kind of rubbed me the wrong way, but I can't quite put my finger on why. *shrug* Maybe it's just a personal preference/style thing? I like to make sure I get a shower and put on "real" clothes at some point during my day, but my "real" clothes are still pretty slummy, honestly. And my "dressy" clothes are just extra-nice jeans. I don't think wearing jeans with holes in the knees, or sweatpants, or whatever, indicates you don't care about your family. Being all fancy often isn't practical.
Well it's nice to know I'm not the only one. :) MJL pointed out that the cranky would definitely override the sloppy in his book.
Don't you your kids and husband will remember how you treat them rather than how you were dressed?
I look at it like you are dressing for the occasion. When you are at home, you put on clothes that are appropriate for doing crafts, cleaning up messes, snuggling messy babies, and working in the garden. Your comfy clothes are totally appropriate for all of those tasks, and your family is going to remember the time you spent with them, not your clothes. :) Lub lub.
I get what she is saying about not looking harried when you leave the house, especially if you want others to consider undertaking the task of parenting multiple children themselves. But I agree with Katrina that wearing appropriate clothes doesn't diminish your respect for the people you're with. It's kind of like wearing scrubs as a nurse. In fact, as long as I'm intentional about what I'm wearing, whether that's jeans and a button-up or workout pants and a t-shirt (and on top of that, I might have even showered! :-), then I feel like I've "gotten ready" for the day. Perhaps sitting here in the clothes I slept in is more along the lines of not showing my family I'm completely here and taking my job seriously... But it is summer and the boys are all in their underwear still, and I kept thinking we'd just change straight into swimsuits and go to the pool... :-)
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